Finishing our Discipleship Training School (DTS) with YWAM left me with a pretty intense spiritual high. We had just come back from seeing (up close and personal) God do amazing things. We saw miracles, healings, experienced deliverances and saw people come to know Jesus as savior. I got to experience God in a way that I never had, but always knew was possible. Most importantly, there was a tangible presence of God I had never known before. His nearness was amazing, exhilarating, frightening, and fascinating. I had found the "place" I wanted to live the rest of my life. Not a physical location, but to live permanently in the presence of the Creator of the universe.
Yet arriving home was not at all what I expected. I got to see people I loved. I got go places I loved. I got to eat food I loved. Yet I felt like I was gasping for air. Reading my bible went from a joy filled delight to a struggle literally over night. Prayer was labored at best.
I knew that God did not spare His own Son to bring me near to Him. He was not the problem. It was not like He was hiding from me. He promised to never leave me or forsake me. He does not and cannot lie.
I desperately wanted to be near to Him. I have spent every single morning since returning crying out to Him to fix whatever was broken. I have asked Him to search me and see if there was any unclean thing in me. I heard nothing.
My desire was not the problem.
That really only left one culprit. Satan. A spiritual attack featuring fogginess, confusion, and a sense of hopelessness. I know many can be uncomfortable with such language, but that uncomfort does not lead you to freedom. I was not content to wait another second under this oppression. I had to fight and fight hard. I have been learning that the victory does not go to the talented or deserving. For the believer in Jesus, victory is secured... but only if we stay in the fight.
This morning at 4:16am my eyes snapped open and I knew the battle had been won. Morning and evening battling in prayer paid off. Whatever was on me or bothering me was broken and once again I felt His nearness.
I want to encourage you in the fight. Pray through until you get breakthrough. You cannot lose unless you give up.
He is certainly worth fighting for.
This is the time to fight and win. It is not ok for days to go by. It is not ok to call this a "season." Get up and start taking some spiritual swings. Don't stop until you know you have the victory.
The victory is yours....but only if you are still in the battle when the battle is finished.